


wanna be your endgame

by magicites



Category: Kamen Rider Ex-Aid
Genre: Domestic Fluff, Getting Together, Multi, Post show/build crossover movie at least i do not perceive the vs movies, Post-Canon
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-23
Updated: 2020-06-23
Packaged: 2021-03-03 19:34:22
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,778
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24870871
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/magicites/pseuds/magicites
Summary: It's about moving on. Moving on from being human, and learning how to deal with this whole Bugster thing. Moving on from Jungo, and all the pain losing your first love entails. Moving on from the old apartment Kiriya had allowed to grow dark and lifeless into something bright and new. Moving enough to let himself learn how to want someone again.And moving into the same apartment complex as Emu and Parado.Sometimes, moving and moving on are one and the same.
Relationships: Houjou Emu/Kujou Kiriya/Parad
Comments: 1
Kudos: 11
Collections: Toku Poly Ficathon 2020





	wanna be your endgame

**Author's Note:**

  * For [kiriya](https://archiveofourown.org/users/kiriya/gifts).



> KIRIYA WAS REALLY FUN TO WRITE LOL this is just soft getting together shenanigans. hope u enjoy!!!!

“Damn Poppy, you really transformed the place,” Kiriya says. He plays with one of the red streamers that dangles down from the ceiling. Four hours ago, this apartment was barren, unloved and unlived in. 

Now, it’s full of life, fit for a housewarming party. She didn’t have to unpack all his decorations and half his other things in the process, but hey, the less work he has to do to settle in, the better.

Poppy grins and flexes her arm. “Thanks, Kiriya-kun! I love throwing parties!”

“One of your Pop-pi-pa-powers,” Kiriya says, grinning at the delighted smile that goofy pun gets. She’s still a little weird, but she’s good. She’s helped him with the whole… Bugster thing. How humanity feels like an ill-fitting glove more often than not these days. His bosses don’t get it. Emu doesn’t get it. Kuroto probably gets it, but fuck that guy. 

But Poppy? She gets it enough. She even kinda gets the whole moving thing, simply nodding and offering to throw a party so he can enjoy the new move. 

Emu had been on board for that idea, with Nico cheering right at his side. Taiga and Hiiro got dragged into the mess, and Parado just only cares about being wherever Emu is. Kuroto wasn’t invited because again, fuck that guy. 

He stays in a silenced pouch in Poppy’s pocket though, just in case they need him for… whatever. If he complains, then Poppy can snap at him that he was still at the party, and that’s good enough for one day. 

There’s a knock at the door. “Ooooh, I got it!” Poppy says, hopping over to answer it. Nico barges in, with Taiga close on her heels. He holds a box in his arms. Probably a joint gift from the two that Nico bullied Taiga into buying with his own money, despite making nearly as much as him with her pro gamer gigs. Kiriya takes a moment to appreciate that he died before she could come over and attach herself to his side like a little barnacle.

_ Your sister, your problem, _ he wants to say to Taiga’s frown. Instead, he answers them with a grin. “Taiga, Nico-chan! Good to see you. Thanks for the gift.” He takes it from Taiga and rattles it. Plastic rustles within. That’s a hint, but not nearly a big one as Nico’s offended squeal.

“Kiriya-kun! Stop shaking that, it’s delicate!” She nearly slaps it out of his hands before catching it herself. He makes a show of setting it on the table just to calm her down.

They shoot the shit for a little while before there’s another knock. Hiiro comes in with a cake, because of course he fucking does. Kiriya grins and thanks him anyways, trying not to wonder where the rest of the party is. Emu wouldn’t normally be late, but Parado doesn’t really gel with concepts like  _ time. _

Still, they’re the ones with the smallest commute. How hard is it to walk up two flights of stairs from the apartment they share? Honestly. 

Another forty-five minutes pass, most of which are playing some party game Poppy made up for the shindig. Kiriya’s halfway to being dared to walk around with a spatula sticking out of his collar (seriously,  _ why) _ when there’s one final knock on the door.

Kiriya wrenches the door open. Emu stands there with a cute little grin on his face and his Bugster attached to his back. He holds two small bags: one pink, one purple… and red… and also blue. Did he let Parado attack that thing with a box of markers?

Well. Not his problem.

“Emu! I see you and your evil clone made it here,” Kiriya says. 

“You know I’m not his clone. I’m his Bugster,” Parado reminds him helpfully. He says it like he’s a kid who just won a soccer tournament. 

“He means it as a joke, Parado,” Emu says. He doesn’t even register that Parado’s still clinging to him. Must be a normal thing. Makes him wonder what else going on behind closed doors. “Can we come in, Kiriya-san?”

Kiriya takes a step to the side and gestures for them to come in. Emu sets the gifts on the table and Parado wanders away to harass Nico.    
  
Now that everyone’s here, the party finally goes into full-swing. They eat fried noodles and sesame balls and drink mocktails that Kiriya spikes for everyone except Poppy (who he’s terrified of seeing drunk), Hiiro (who is even more boring drunk than sober) and Nico (because Taiga’s gone full “annoying big brother” mode and Kiriya doesn’t want to “enable bad habits”).

Throughout the whole party, he feels like he keeps an eye on Emu. The guy’s the kind of person who people naturally gravitate to, anyways. He has this magnetic smile and this chipper attitude that makes him easy to like. It’s not just the cute face or the nice smile, though. Kiriya knows there’s something deeper underneath, something primal and terrifying. Something that looks at injustice and tears it apart with its teeth. He’s seen it firsthand himself, after all.

It’s pretty hot. 

The jury’s still out on how hot the gentle domesticity Emu has with Parado is, though. He’s not sure how much of it is a roommate thing and how much of it is a  _ I’m the part of your soul that was ripped out of your body _ thing. They’re always aware of each other’s presence, no matter how far apart they are. Parado attracts Emu’s attention with a touch to his waist, his shoulder, his forearm. Emu brings Parado snacks that he knows he’ll like without asking, as if some part of his brain is dedicated solely to taking care of the bugster.

Kiriya watches them like a starving man, though he’s careful to only look from behind his sunglasses. The blow to his pride when Nico calls him out for being a loser who wears shades inside at night stings way less than it would for her to see what he’s staring at and make the connection. 

It’s been so long since he’s had someone so attuned to him, the way they’re attuned to each other. Not since Jungo died.

He hasn’t wanted since Jungo died, not something so completely separate from him. Antithetical from what they had, even.

Bhe looks at Emu, and he knows exactly what he wants from him. Moving, and moving on. Sometimes those are one and the same, even if the specific forms look different.

* * *

Kiriya sucks at sitting around. His new job - vaccine research - is more of a nine to five than anything he’s ever done. Bugsters don’t really need to eat or sleep the way humans do, but the motions are comforting, much as he hates how it forces him into a routine.

It’s better, when he has a reason to drag out his Gashat. Those reasons are getting more and more sparse these days. It should be a good thing, really. It should be.

Emu’s still in the CR, so his schedule remains just as chaotic as ever. At the height of it all, Kiriya sometimes caught him asleep under a desk in the CR, a thin hospital blanket sloppily wrapped around his shoulders. He does that less often now, but not so much to promise anything more than an echoing knock to his door when Kiriya tries to come over.

That hasn’t deterred Kiriya from standing outside of Emu’s door and knocking. He has a bag of takeout as an offering, some noodles from a takeout place down the street that Emu once mentioned was good. Kiriya has a straightforward plan: give the food, park himself on Emu’s couch, pray that Parado is locked away in the game room staring at a screen until his brain rots out his ears, and flirt his nice ass off. 

That plan goes out the fucking window and gets hit by a truck when Parado opens the door. “It’s you,” Parado says, bright eyes raking up and down Kiriya’s form. He’d think Parado was checking him out if the guy wasn’t so zoned out of reality all the time. “Looking for Emu?”

“Ah, you’re a smart one. Is he here?”

“No. Still at work.” His eyes fall on the food. “For Emu?”

He could lie. What difference is Parado gonna know? 

But he decides against it. What is lying going to get him, aside from another story to keep straight? “Yeah.”

Parado’s eyes light up. There’s something predatory about the guy, even now. Like a shark that just got a whiff of blood. Sometimes Kiriya wonders if that edge speaks to the dark thing still inside Emu; if they were once one and the same. “Can I see? He won’t be coming home until late.”

“You don’t eat.”

“Neither do you, but I remember the fridge in your apartment.” Packed to the brim with food and drink. 

Kiriya grins. “You got me there.”

“I’m bored. You should come in,” Parado says, stepping aside to let Kiriya in. He’s copying what he saw Kiriya do at the housewarming party, he can tell. It’s how he slouches against the wall, how his hands fiddle with the doorknob for no good reason. Kiriya can’t tell if Parado is making fun of him or if he’s just copying what he thinks he’s supposed to do. He’s not too sure which one he wants it to be.

He slips his shoes off by the door, sets the food on the table, and flops on the couch. Parado hops over the back and sits next to him a moment later, though all his attention is directed on the bag of food. 

Kiriya knows that look. It’s a more honest version of the one Emu gives whenever he wants someone’s food. He isn’t surprised when Parado asks, “Can I try it?”

No reason to say no. Kiriya unties the bag and flips the lip open. “Go for it. One of Emu’s favorites.” Normally, that wouldn’t be something Kiriya would share, but Parado’s weird enough that there’s no benefit to hiding that kind of information. It isn’t Kiriya’s fault that his brain hoards facts about Emu like a squirrel hoarding nuts for winter. Besides, the last person who has any right to call that fixation weird is the guy who spent half his existence centered around trying to fight Emu.

Parado shoves a bunch of noodles into his mouth. He’s good at using chopsticks for someone that doesn’t need to eat. He chews thoughtfully and swallows. “It’s okay,” he says, setting the chopsticks back down.

Kiriya raises an eyebrow. “Just okay?”

“I don’t know why Emu likes it so much. Food is just weird,” he says, crinkling his nose.

Kiriya laughs. “You need to try more food. Eventually you’ll find something you like.”

“Like how Kagami Hiiro likes those cakes so much?”

“Or how Nico’ll punch you for good mochi,” Kiriya says. Parado nods sagely, probably thinking of the three different instances they’ve seen that exact scenario play out. 

This should be the part where they lapse into an awkward silence. They know each other well enough to be fine in groups, but there isn’t much to connect them personally. They’re both Bugsters and they both spend too much brain power thinking about Emu. That’s pretty much it. 

Parado’s social skills are such shit that he completely bypasses the awkward part of acquaintanceship. “You should stay,” Parado says. “I don’t really want to play games with you, but it’s less boring when someone else is around.”

Kiriya grins. “Sure must get boring when Emu’s at work, huh?”

Parado nods. “When Emu’s busy, then Poppy’s busy. The closest thing to a good rival I have is that other girl, but she’s busy a lot.”

“I can’t help you during the day, but you realize I live a few floors up from you, right?”

He doesn’t expect Parado to catch on. “Are you inviting me over?”

“Don’t invite yourself, but if you’re ever bored, I got a couch you can sit on that isn’t this one,” Kiriya says. He never had people over at his old place. Jungo was always the one who was inviting people over. Kiriya’s never was a fan of letting people into his home. Too close. 

But if he’s trying something new, he might as well try it here.

Parado’s grin looks a little like Emu’s, lopsided in the same way. Kiriya feels a small thrill go through him at the sight. Not the first time its happened when Emu’s looked at him, but definitely a first with Parado. 

Emu comes home a few hours later, dropping his backpack by the door, kicking his shoes off, and practically collapsing into the nearest chair with a sigh. “Emu!” Parado says, at his side instantly. “Do you want to play a game with me? I’ve waited all day for you.”

Emu cracks open a single gorgeous eye. His smile is apologetic. “Sorry, Parado. I think I’m too tired tonight.”

Parado pouts, but he doesn't push further. What was once antagonistic is an easy rapport now. Parado pushes his knuckles against Emu’s shoulder and laughs. “Tomorrow!” 

Emu laughs too. “Yeah. Tomorrow.” His eyes blink open, tired and fond like a cat in the sun, and that’s when he notices Kiriya. Those same eyes go wide with shock. “Kiriya-san! I didn’t know you were here! Were you waiting for me this whole time?” 

“Kinda. I was also keeping this guy from dying of boredom,” Kiriya says, gesturing to Parado. At Emu’s confused tilt of his head, Parado nods, and Emu breaks out into the most brilliant fucking grin. 

Still, Kiriya rocks to his feet. That much emotional honesty still makes him uneasy, even after knowing both Emu and Poppy for months. “Guess I better get going, then. Got errands to take care of back at my place.” He doesn’t. “Nice seeing you, Emu,” he says. At least that much is true. 

“I’m tired, but I’m not going to sleep for a little bit longer,” Emu says. “You’re welcome to stay, Kiriya-san.”

Kiriya pauses halfway to the door. “You sure?”

“Yeah!”

Well, he can’t say no to that.

So Kiriya stays. Mostly, he watches Emu and Parado interact, craving the easy intimacy at which they move around each other. It’s weird dark alter shit, yeah, but it’s also the simple domesticity that comes with knowing someone as well as you know yourself. He had something similar with Jungo, back in the day.

But he also sees the gaps. Where he’d expect affection, there are only looks. Where a kiss would make sense, there’s nothing at all.

They’re not together, he realizes. Just standing on the same precipice he edges every time he looks at Emu.

At least Kiriya has no reason to feel jealous now.

* * *

Parado starts inviting himself over. Like, a lot. There are a few days when Kiriya drags his sorry ass back home from work only to see Parado waiting outside his door, perking up like a dog whose owner just got home when he sees Kiriya step out the elevator. 

“You’re here again,” Kiriya says. It’s the third day in a row.

“Emu isn’t home,” Parado says.

“You got any other friends?”

“Poppy. Nico.” No one is friends with Dan Kuroto. He just shows up places and people tolerate him. “I guess Taiga sometimes. But you’re closest.”

Kiriya snorts. “I’ll give you that one. Come on in.”

Parado stays, and Kiriya’s learned that he will even if Kiriya doesn’t invite him in. Parado doesn’t bring the same gentle warmth Emu does whenever he’s free enough for Kiriya to drag him over, but Parado brings life all the same. It’s nice. Makes this place feel more like home. 

They get to know each other, over the days and weeks. Parado definitely knows his brand, but he’s less one-note than Kiriya first expected. He’s got a sharp wit when he’s willing to bring it out. He’s curious and intelligent, provided something catches his attention. He’s insanely good at problem solving. There’s a day where Kiriya’s pipe under his sink bursts and Parado takes it upon himself to figure out how to fix it.

“You wanna become a plumber or something?” Kiriya asks with a disbelieving laugh. Parado’s on his back on the kitchen floor, his head shoved underneath the sink. He has an entire toolset next to him. Kiriya snaps a photo for memory’s sake.

“No. Work is boring. But this? This is fun. I get to solve something new,” Parado explains. He twists something down there — Kiriya doesn’t care to find out what — and the persistent dripping that’s been going on for a day and a half finally comes to a blissful stop. The apartment feels strangely quiet without it. 

“Well, thanks,” Kiriya says. Parado pops his head out from underneath the sink and gives him a grin, the one that’s part-Emu and part-not. 

Electricity tingles over his skin. Again.

That’s the fucking thing, about hanging out with Parado. The more they spend time together, the more Kiriya’s nerves go haywire. Kiriya actually enjoys hanging out with him, and Parado’s such a weird fucking guy in his own right that whatever lie Kiriya can come up with is only half as ridiculous as Parado’s truth. 

Maybe that’s why Kiriya looks down at him and goes, “Parado. Come out with me for a drink. You drink, right?”

“I like soda,” Parado says. 

“Great. Ya like booze? We can get the fruity mixed shit if you want. My treat.”

Parado’s eyes practically sparkle. This is also because Parado never has any money. Emu makes good enough money for the two of them and then some. “I’ll go.”

They find a video game themed bar on the other side of the city. Taking the train there feels a little sketchy, but for all Kiriya’s willing to trust Parado, he doesn’t trust Parado enough to turn into his fucking bike. That’s a special thing. That, and Parado speeds to the point of giving Kiriya a heart attack. The train is safer.

They don’t get blasted, but they drink, and they play a few board games, and it’s a good fucking time. When Emu drags himself in just minutes before midnight, with bags under his eyes and a tired smile forced on his face, Kiriya slides a drink under his nose.

The night gets a lot better after that. Nothing happens — better that it doesn’t, Kiriya doesn’t want to give the chance for any of them to blame it on the booze — but Kiriya can feel a shift. Subtle, but there all the same.

And he likes it.

* * *

It’s easier to lie to Emu, Kiriya realizes. Sometimes, the lies don’t even fucking matter. Emu will show up at Kiriya’s apartment after a shift, takeout in one hand and Parado hanging off the other, and ask how Kiriya’s day went. Sometimes he gets really frisky and asks Kiriya what he had for lunch.

In this particular instance, sitting at Kiriya’s small dining table picking at a giant container of dumplings, Kiriya thinks of what he had for lunch. Miso soup, rice, some steamed vegetables. Nothing fancy at all. Nothing to judge, either.

Yet the first word on his tongue is oben. He has to stop the word before it comes out, take it apart and throw it in the trash. It’d be so easy to lie, and he’d never get caught. Who would rat him out? 

But he swallows the lie. As awkward as it tastes, he tells the truth. Naturally, Emu fawns over that. “Wow, Kiriya-san! You’re so healthy. I had— I don’t even know what I had, it was just the first thing I saw in a vending machine at the hospital,” Emu admits. 

“Live fast, die young,” Kiriya says.

But the joke doesn’t land, not with either of them. “Please don’t joke about that,” Emu says. “I’d rather not lose you again.” Parado looks entirely closed off, and Kiriya suddenly remembers that Parado had to have a fear of death forcibly pounded into his skull.

_ Moving on, _ Kiriya reminds himself. His first instinct is to shove this skeleton in a closet he’ll never open again, but that isn’t the healthy thing to do. That isn’t the thing that’ll help any of them.

“You’re right. Wasn’t thinking about that,” Kiriya says. He can’t quite bring himself to apologize fully, but Emu perks up, taking it as the apology it’s meant to be. 

This is the part where there’s supposed to be an awkward silence. Since Parado is here, containing absolutely no respect for social cues at all, there isn’t. It continues to be a good thing. “Then think about something better.”

_ Like making out with you?  _ Is the first traitorous thought that comes to Kiriya’s mind. “Like all the booze we’re gonna drink and bad tv we’re going to watch? On it,” Kiriya says instead. 

They settle down on Kiriya’s couch, and for not the first time, Kiriya can see this same scenario in his future. His lonely apartment, permanently filled with life once more.

It’s almost a little scary how much he wants it.

* * *

Poppy picks up on the tension, if her increasingly chipper messages are any indication. She sends every single encouraging sticker Line has in its databases. He doesn’t even want to know how much money she spent just to buy them all. 

_ Be fearless, Kiriya-kun! _ She texts, followed by a sticker of herself giving him a thumbs-up. He has no idea who she commissioned to make that thing, but he hopes she tipped them well. 

See, it’s one thing to want someone in the safety of your head. It’s another to open yourself up in reality. Sure, he spends most of his free time with Parado and/or Emu these days. Sure, Parado’s taken to using Kiriya’s phone charger whenever his phone’s battery runs low without asking. Sure, Kiriya’s started to buy the little cookies Emu likes. But that cutesy domestic shit is different. There’s still a plausible deniability there, still enough to lie about his intentions without it feeling like a lie. 

Kiriya thinks about this as he lounges on Emu’s couch. Emu has a day off for once in his life, thanks to Hiiro giving him a death glare and threatening to operate on him if he didn’t go home and get some rest. It just so happened to coincide with Kiriya’s normal day off, leaving the two of them to have nothing better to do than hang out.

So they hung out. Emu dragged Kiriya to get burgers with him at the one burger place on this side of the city. They sat in a park for a while and fed some birds like a couple of old men. They even did an errand together that Emu had neglected for weeks. On one hand, eugh, but on the other hand, the domesticity of it made Kiriya’s chest clench.

Parado’s off with Poppy today. There was a time when Kiriya would be over the moon to spend time alone with Emu. Now it just feels wrong. Kiriya chuckles to himself. It’s always strange once you’ve realized just how different things are now. These changes always creep up on him. 

Emu looks over from where he sits at his desk, where he’s been watching cute animal videos for the last half hour. “Find something funny, Kiriya-san?”

Kiriya shrugs, giving himself a few blessed seconds to figure out how to answer. “Feels different without Parado here,” he says, settling on the truth.

Emu laughs. “Weird, isn’t it? I never thought I’d ever miss him, but I do.”

“Me too, Emu.”

Emu pauses his video, and the air hangs a little different without the constant sound of angry meowing kittens. Emu swings his chair around until he faces Kiriya, but he stares resolutely down at his hands. He’s nervous. “Um… Kiriya-san? There’s actually something I want to talk to you about.”

“We’re already talking, Emu. Go for it,” Kiriya says. Figuring that he needs to be somewhat serious, he shifts until he’s sitting on the couch and not just laying around like a lazy ass. 

Emu glances at him, then startles, and looks back down at his hands. “Well…” he sighs softly. “I should just say it. Kiriya-san. I… I have feelings for you.”

This is hardly romantic at all. Better than what Emu deserves. He deserves a candlelight dinner, a walk under the snow at Christmas, something better than a stuttered confession at 4pm on a Saturday.

But Emu’s also the one confessing, and Kiriya can barely hear his words over the sound of his heartbeat pulsing in his ears. “You do?”

It wasn’t exactly unheard of. Kiriya had suspected for a while. But still. It feels like a shock to his nerves. Part of him wants to run now that it’s real. 

He stays in place, and he blurts out something he  _ definitely _ didn’t mean to say. “I do. But I gotta say, it feels weird to have this conversation without Parado here.” The naked truth of it stings. 

Kiriya glances at Emu, then looks away. He bites his lip, unsure. “I know,” he says softly. “That’s why I’ve taken so long to bring this up. I have feelings for both of you, I think. But I couldn’t stand being rejected by both of you at the same time, so I wanted to wait until we were alone to say anything.”

“Have you told Parado yet?”

Emu shakes his head. “The first thing he'd do is go tell you. This made more sense.”

Kiriya stands up and strolls over to where Emu sits. He leans down, putting his hands on the chair arms. If he reached just a little bit, he could brush his fingers over Emu’s.

After a moment’s consideration, he does. He wonders if his grin looks predatory. He hopes not. “You’re in luck, Emu. Said what’s been on my mind.”

Emu’s eyes are wide, the perfect compliment to the cute blush staining his cheeks. “You mean—”

“—Yep. I want you, and I want him.”

Emu’s grin is the most beautiful fucking thing. He launches himself forward and wraps his arms around Kiriya, pulling him close. Kiriya stiffens, sense memory prickling over his skin of pouring rain and hot blood. 

He had been the one to pull Emu close back then. He had tried to give Emu all the help he could in his final moments and taking the comfort of dying next to a living body in exchange. 

There’s no spilled blood here. His heart doesn’t stop; it works double-time to accommodate the rush he feels. His entire body itches with want. Back then, it had been a futile hope to survive. Now, it’s just for the body pressing against his own.

But it still isn’t right, a puzzle only half finished. 

“We should wait for Parado,” Kiriya says. “Not that I don’t want to shove you up against a wall, but. You know. Three’s company.”

They wait, kind of. They sit far closer on the couch than they’ve ever dared. Emu slides his fingers in-between Kiriya’s like they’re a couple of fifteen-year-olds on their very first date. It’s kid-ish, but it’s cute. Kiriya can’t stop grinning at him, especially when Emu glances at their joined hands in wonder.

It takes another half-hour before the front door unlocks. Parado comes in and focuses right on their hands like a cat spotting its prey. “Oh?”

“Come here. We got something for you,” Kiriya says, gesturing for him to come forward.

Parado’s curiosity gets the best of him, so he does. When he’s close enough to touch, Kiriya sets his hand on Parado’s hip and pulls him even closer. “What do you think about dating me and Emu?”

Parado grins. “Why didn’t you ask earlier?”

Emu laughs, delighted. Kiriya can’t stop grinning. Sometimes, it’s that easy.

He pulls Parado down for a kiss, something chaste and sweet. He can feel the challenge behind it, the spark that Parado must feel when he realizes that  _ hey, kissing feels pretty good _ , but he pulls away and leaves him with a teasing smirk. Then he slides his hand against the back of Emu’s neck and pulls him in for a kiss as well, lingering on something sweet and more experienced.

Both different, but both really fucking good. 

He thinks that this is moving on, too. Opening himself up to the people with him. Letting them peek behind the shell he’s made for himself. Learning how to care again.

And the thing is?

It feels pretty good.


End file.
